dead man's bones/ the longest post ever.

I went into DC tonight and saw Dead Man's Bones play at the synagogue on the corner of 6th and I. It's Ryan Gosling's band, I'd never heard of them but Brad Smith invited me to go with him. It was awesome, they played such a great show and the acoustics in the building were fucking awesome. We got there at like 9:15 and they asked for our tickets, but we were just gonna get them at the door and they said "well we only have two tickets left, how many of you are there." but it was just me and brad. so in total movie fashion, we snagged the last two and sauntered in.

It was hard to find a place to see though, there were giant pillars everywhere. REGARDLESS, it was incredible. there was a choir that does the backup vocals and they all wore white robes and the conductor had a skeleton suit on. it was spooky and right in line with my need for things to get my stoked on fall/halloween.

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, if not my absolute favorite and fall is hands down my favorite season but I haven't been really stoked on it lately. The weather sort of skipped fall and went straight to rainy winter and its bringing me down hard. My mom surprised me with some new pumpkin candles yesterday though so hopefully those will make Richmond feel more like the fall that I love.

I feel like I've been letting people down lately. I've been making a point to stop making plans that I'm not positive I can keep because of this people are beginning to drop me. Maybe its my imagination. I refuse to get cut out. But I can't be every where at once, and I need some time for myself every now and then. I'd like to say fuck it, whatever. But I can't, and won't. I don't let people go ever. And its not even that I want to let them go, its that I can't live up to their standards. And if they wanna be sassy about it then I will let them and I will accommodate them. And everything will go exactly as it always does.

I miss Richmond already and I'm ready to go home tomorrow. I feel bad for my parents, I think they get lonely here. Every time I come home they've made another small change, I don't know if this is them settling in or coping. or both.

Its officially my sister's one year anniversary of being married today. That blows my mind. She was engaged at 19 and for a while that made me feel like I'd missed the family mark. Being 20 and basically incapable of making up my mind for any period of time I get stressed trying to imagine what it feels like to make adult decisions. To each his own I suppose and perhaps I'll be a spinster for the rest of my life.

Mer mer mer, its late. I'm done with this melancholy post. I'm happy. I'm generally very happy, this is just the place where I get rid of all of my rants so there it goes, and now its done.

:)