redundant

broken record, broken record, broken record.
sometimes that's a good thing, like on wave runner when you get the best time.
in this case however, its simply me rambling on and on about the same things over and over.
its funny because no matter how many times I convince myself that I know what the right decision is, its seldom the one I decided was the right decision before. There are two choices here, stay or go. And I cannot decide which I'd rather do. Which I WANT to do.
I went to a wedding tonight and I realized how strange it is to me that people can decide to spend the rest of their lives together without a single qualm. I wish I could be that certain about anything. I don't know of a single thing that I can say I definitely want to do every day for the rest of my life. I don't know what it means to love someone so much you can't imagine spending a day without them. The fact that I can't even imagine that might also be unhealthy.
Who decides that though, ya know? I'm mad. its 12:48 and I am mad. I spend a lot of my 12:48's mad because of the same reason. Does that mean I should give up and even if I should, will I?
My great aunt died today, and he didn't even answer his phone when I called to tell him. I'm not that upset honestly, I didn't really know her that well. But I would have never done that to him. Ever.
It seems so obvious, but it still doesn't make it easy. I'm wrapped up and twisted around and sometimes the right thing is the wrong thing and no one can decide anything except me.
No matter how many times I try to make them.

I need to do homework but I can't concentrate, my eyes keep wandering toward the clock and then toward my cell phone. I'm still wearing the dress I wore to the wedding but with sweatpants on underneath. I wish I had more excuses to get dressed up, this, along with my shows that suck, makes me truly happy.
I don't want to take the dress off, maybe I'll sleep in it.
I might go back home tomorrow, I'm starting to think this roadtrip is probably a mistake.

I wish I had a roof nearby, I could use an escape for a little while, reality is far too ominous.

slacker.

Summer always brainwashes me into an alternate reality where everything's easy and nothing sucks. Well, almost nothing. It sucks less I guess.

Then I come to school and I'm shocked that people have expectations of me, which require a great deal of my time and attention. I'm paying them to expect that of me yet I still begrudge them for it.

Catch 22.

lazy bones.

(Calvin and Hobbes for you, Grundy)

In other news, True Blood ended last night and Gossip Girl started today.

the world works in my favor occasionally, I don't care how lame those shows are. They make me genuinely happy.

day two; too; tutu

in lit today my professor was talking about all of the riotous republicans saying that Obama was implementing his socialist agenda on America's youth during his broadcasted speech yesterday. he said "Here i am at home feeling hopeful with my sickle and hammer waving a red flag and he comes on saying 'welcome back to school, work hard.' WHAT THE FUCK!?"

it made me laugh. im choosing to document it because i know that i will look back at this and chuckle one day.

that is all.

blah blah blah

this is an old picture, but i like it still.